Excitement lies within

Pretty red dress with a black belt, tied tight above the hip. Glinting black stilettos. A touch of kohl before its time to start driving. Dot on time. Just a 1000 questions. Super feeling! Does everyone know what exactly is running through the head? Perfume fills the air. Footsteps get racier. Smile broadens.

Iitsy bitsy tinee vinee…what’s it going to be like? Absolutely no need to look for a mirror. Calm & collected. Phone rings. Answered before a thought could pass. ‘Make sure no judgment is passed’ repeats in the head like a constant reminder.

I was put to absolute ease. Comforting smile. The feeling of knowing each other for years… lasted. The mind did not take over the heart. After long, I was in bliss, with no expectations, no conclusion to make.

Zindagi’s opened out. Humor made it lighter. Dinner skipped. Hot chocolate tasted cold but the hazelnut reminded me of a friend who invited me to cover the kite festival in Gujrat. I drifted away!
I probably wasn’t making any sense. The excitement of being there and covering the event next week was larger than any thing. I knew that it would be hard for anybody to understand why I enjoyed shooting more than anything else.

I was experiencing the rush of ‘being out shopping’ in my head. The excitement of liking something, bargains, deals, must haves, curiosity, trials, window-shopping, over doing it, confusion – all that in 1st conversation. Fireworks!!

People, places, to dos, funny incidents, favourite restaurants, peer circles, attitudes, tantrums, egos, reading habits… all in all everything under the sun was touched upon. Quite obvious we were both excited; both had a typical notion of the opposite sex, both knew we will meet again!

I wanted to laugh, laugh the stress out, cos it went of really well. I never thought I could behave on a blind date. I did I did!!

Flow with the flow

Week after week, days pass like years. Monday morning I come back thinking…so many things undone. I wish I could say aloud ‘I don’t like what I did’. I want to accept that it isn’t the way I want it to be. There is a lot beyond what I see, if only I could learn to accept the present and say ‘what happens, happens for the best’. I didn’t think it’s going to be hard, but it is. You don’t want to sleep, wake up and live thinking about something that you didn’t expect or never wanted. Sorry, is all I feel like saying right now.

Mixed feelings. Confused soul. Tougher times when you can’t take a decision, cant speak your heart. Have bundled my thoughts and stacked them aside, cos they only make me teary. The ingredients never were right. Someone tell me how does magic happen…cos I thought I knew.

Lets go create magic... escape…and drown in work like never before!

Should plan another exciting weekend…. And as ‘du’ said flow with the flow!